Teen Spot

What is Dating Violence?

Dating Violence is the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse by one partner to gain power and control of the other partner.  Dating violence is a pattern of violent and abusive behavior that a partner uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend.

  • 1 in 3 high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship
  • 30-50% of female teens have reported experiencing dating violence
  • 40% of teenage girls know someone in their age group who has been abused by a boyfriend
  • 1 in 5 couples report dating violence in their relationship
  • 38% of date rape victims were between 14-17 years of age

Physical Abuse

Attempts to hurt or scare partner physically and causes pain or injury.

  • Any physical act that is unwanted or hurtful
  • Shoving, pushing, grabbing, shaking, slapping, biting, hitting, punching, threatening or attacking with a weapon, and tickling or hugging if it is unwanted

Emotional Abuse

Harms a partner’s self-esteem or causes shame.

  • Withholding affection, isolating a partner from friends and/or family, embarrassing or humiliating a partner, especially in front of others
  • Insulting or making a partner feel bad about themselves, playing mind games or making a partner think they are crazy
  • Ignoring a partner or giving them the “silent treatment”, threatening the safety of a partner, or controlling a partner including how to dress, what to eat, and/or where to go
  • Guilt trip – if one partner’s requests are not met, this partner tries to make the other partner feel guilty, especially by threatening to hurt themselves or commit suicide.  For example, “if you love me, you would…”
  • Threatening or intimidating by using looks, gestures, and/or actions which makes a partner feel nervous or scared

Sexual Abuse

Any kind of unwanted sexual activity, advances, or rape.  Coercion or pressuring someone to engage in sexual activity.

  • Includes unwelcome sexual comments to kissing to intercourse
  • Unwanted/uncomfortable touching, verbal or physical sexual advances after being told “NO”
  • Forcing sexual intercourse, or threatening to hurt a person if they refuse sexual acts
  • Sexual harassment 

Clues of Dating Violence

  • Physical signs of injury
  • Changes in mood or personality
  • Failing grades or drops out of school
  • Emotional outburst
  • Changes in weight or appearance
  • Isolation from family and friends
  • Uses drugs/alcohol

Dating Safety

  • Trust your instincts.  Remain calm and have a safety plan to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation
  • Before leaving on a date, know the plans and inform parents or friends of your expected time home
  • Be aware that alcohol or drugs can decrease your ability to react to a dangerous situation